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I dont want kids.... Or so i thought....

Most girls growing up can’t wait to get older, have babies and start a family. I guess I’m not most girls because that was just something, I never longed for growing up or even as a young adult in my 20s. I always knew and would say... I don't want kids. It wasn’t until I was about to hit 30 that I finally got serious about wanting a baby of my own. Of course, it all hit me at once and now it’s all I want! I know my time will come though at just the time I need it.

I’m sure there is MANY factors into why I never felt the urge to have kids but here are some that come to mind

 Raising a tiny human is a scary thought. They rely on you for everything and to keep them alive. My biggest fear is that I’m going to do something wrong and not know how to fix it!

 I worked at a preschool for 10 years. It’s not that I don’t like kids because I love kids! I think they’re so cute and hilarious. I just know how much work they can be and how difficult it can get at times. Working at a preschool for that long was a great form of birth control. I would be able to get my kid fix all day but also go home at night and be kid free!

 I have lots of nieces and nephews. I love every single one of them, but I loved that the second they start crying it’s time to find mom and dad! You’re able to pass them off and send them home with their parents.

 I Didn’t want to pass any of my character flaws onto my kids. I’m human and no one is perfect. As someone that deals with anxiety and bipolar disorder, I never wanted to have a child because I didn’t want them to have to manage something like this as well. I know how hard it can be at times and would never wish it on anyone.

 My past mistakes and decisions were priority over everything else in life. I won’t blame it all on my mental health, but it was a key factor while I was battling a drug addiction. Thankfully I’m 2 years clean and see life differently now but it was a major factor into why I didn’t children. It wouldn’t ever be fair to bring a child into that. I knew I needed to focus on getting my life right before I would even consider having kids.

 Lastly… the world is a scary place. Seeing the way things are going around the world it gives me SO much anxiety. I often wonder if I really want to expose an innocent little child to it all.

Even with all these things that made me believe I didn’t want kids for the longest time, I now know I for sure want kids. I haven’t wanted anything more in life. I knew I wanted things to be different in my life before I considered kids and now, I’ve put that work in. Yes, becoming a parent is a SCARY adventure but your love for your child outweighs the fears. If you’re doing whatever it takes to protect and prepare your child for the world we live in, then you are exceeding! You just need to believe in yourself!

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Love always,



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