Have you ever decided something in your younger years that you later regret once you’re older? I’m sure we’ve all been there and can relate. I know I have a ton of decisions that my young self made, that I now wish I could take back. Well my husband made a BIG decision in his young mind that we BOTH wish he could take back. Here we are though trying to fix that past decision.
At the young age of 23 my husband wasn’t making the best choices just like a lot of young men don’t. He didn’t think about responsibilities of his actions and decided that he knew for sure he did NOT want kids. He then came to the decision to get a vasectomy. Any doctor that’s in their right mind will not let a 23-year-old make this sort of choice. Somehow, some way though this doctor finally agreed to do the procedure. Fast forward 9 years and his mind was starting to change about his decision to not have kids. Everyone always warned him he was going to feel differently once he was older and wiser. Of course, you don’t want to listen to that advice when in your mind you think you know what you want.
My husband and I have known each other for 16 years. I always thought in my mind I didn’t want kids also… we’ll get more into that another time! So, at the time I learned he had done this, I thought it was great!! I found someone like me that wasn’t wanting to have kids. we would be able to spend our life together doing the things we love, without having to worry about a babysitter and all the other stuff that comes with being a parent. Again, everyone would always tell me “you’ll feel differently once you’re older.”
Well the second I started to hit 30 I finally started to get those urges to be a mom. At this point my husband was already changing his mind about wanting kids also. We had already been researching our options. Let me tell you, all the options we researched were expensive. It really started to make me feel defeated because I knew we wouldn’t be able to just come up with that amount of money easily. We really had to decide how important it was for us to have a child. Which in the end we concluded a child of our own is extremely important. That we were going to do what it took for us to bring that dream to life.
After doing some researching the two options that were going to fit right for us was either a vasectomy reversal or IVF. Both procedures are thousands of dollars but at least the vasectomy reversal was less money than the IVF. We wanted to be able to try the reversal to conceive that way before we tried the IVF route. It’s a very stressful decision to make. You know there is a chance the reversal surgery won’t work and you’re back to square one. Then you have more stress trying to come up with more money to try IVF, but we felt that was the path we wanted to try first. Thankfully we were able to freeze sperm as a backup in case we ever do have to take the IVF option.
Here are some great resources to visit if you need support or more info into different options:
Resolve.org (Online support groups, provides great resources)
Thencomesfamily.com (online forums & support groups)
IHR.com (Fertility support groups, Resources & info into different fertility options)
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Until next time,